I am beginning to know what the other surrogates were talking about when they said surrogacy is a big game of hurry up and wait. There really has not been anything to report over the last month. I am still waiting to do the last of the blood work. We are waiting for me to start my cycle to do that. The plan is to start me on the meds at the beginning of my cycle. I usually don't complain about my long cycles but when you are looking forward to starting for a change it seems like a very long wait. I should be making a call to the clinic for my appointment tomorrow morning. More than you all care to know right? Lol.
I am ready to finally get the ball rolling. Sounds silly but I am looking forward to starting the meds. Not that I am anxious to pump my body full of hormones but I know that this mean we are one step closer to making this happen. I can only imagine the anticipation the family is feeling. I remember how I felt when trying to conceive my babies. Even if it did not happen right away at least I felt like we were doing something. With every try we were moving closer to our goal. How must that feel to have it all completely out of your control? All the more reason I want to get going. I don't want this to be any harder on them than it has to be.
I did receive word from the surrogacy attorney today. She said the IPs have the contract and were reviewing it over the weekend. I should have it by this time next week. With this we will be yet another step closer. Baby steps seems to be the appropriate term.
I apologize if all of this is getting confusing. If it is coming across as confusing to you it is because it is confusing for me. The plans have changed so many times(appts, protocol, etc). Just when I think we are really moving along I find myself sitting around wondering what is going to happen next, and when! Baby steps. I will try to update as I can when I actually have something to update about. Hopefully soon!
Sunday, May 31, 2009
Saturday, May 2, 2009
RE appt
The appointment with the RE was short and sweet. IM met me at the clinic. It was nice to get to talk to her for awhile before being called back. I enjoyed hearing her talk about herself, IF and their kids. I can tell they are a close, loving family. I am thrilled to have a hand in adding to this wonderful family. God willing!
Back to the RE, this is the same doctor IM used to get pregnant with her twins. I’m not sure if I mentioned they have a set of twins through IVF. IM’s pregnancy was great. The complications arose after the delivery. As a result she is unable to carry another pregnancy. I won’t say too much because I want to protect their privacy. I at least want to let you know what made them turn to surrogacy. The embryos we will be using are from the same batch as the twins. The RE mentioned that they were all of great quality. He seems very confident that we will get pregnant. I was happy to hear that. He did say that implanting two embryos should be sufficient. When the IPs and I discussed the number of embryos to implant previously we agreed to three. IF did some research and said that because it is a frozen transfer the chances of the pregnancy taking are of a lower percentage. I did some research as well and found several articles that supported this theory. I also read that the frozen transfer is just as successful as a fresh transfer. Some doctors even suggested frozen were more successful. This is one of the reasons I was anxious to talk to the RE. I wanted his opinion on the matter. IM is happy to do only two embryos. I am going to let her discuss it with IF. I will be seeing them both soon so I will bring it up then and see what they decided.
The RE ordered an ultrasound while I was there. I was aware that I would need one at some point but I was not quite prepared to have it done that day. I was told this appointment was only a consultation and that the ultrasound appointment would probably be the following week. The plan was to have Bill take off the day of the ultrasound appointment so he could drive me. I heard it can be painful so I wanted him there as a backup in case I was too uncomfortable to drive home. Fortunately this ultrasound was not as invasive as the one they originally said they were going to do. Still, not my idea of a good time. The tech was making me laugh. She checked my uterus and then my ovaries. Everything looked good. No unwanted masses, etc, etc. She kept going back to my ovaries. She was fascinated by them. She commented on how fertile I must be. I laughed and told her I had four kids. She said, “I believe it!” LOL. She was cracking me up! At one point she was trying to count the follicles! She seriously acted like this was the highlight of her day!
Now that we have the all clear from the RE all we need to do is some blood work and then we can finally move on to the contract phase. In TX we have to get the court to approve the arrangement. The process could take 2-4wks. As soon as we get the court approval I will start on BCPs. I will be given a shot of Lupron at some point to start my cycle. Then I will start estrogen patches. Before the transfer I will start the PIO(progesterone in oil). This is a shot I will have to give myself daily. Once the pregnancy is confirmed I will hopefully get to switch to a different form of progesterone. I will need to continue that through the first 10wks of the pregnancy. After that I will be released from the REs care to my regular OB.
I will be doing the blood work on the 17th. We plan to meet with the IPs for lunch and then head to the clinic. We are able to do the tests at IF’s office so that allows us to be flexible with the time and date. I’m looking forward to getting our families together for the afternoon. They only got to meet K and M the last time. I think they are looking forward to meeting the rest of my crew. I have already told them so much about the kids. What can I say, I am a proud mama. I am hoping to get to know their little ones better as well. :-) They seem like great kids.
Back to the RE, this is the same doctor IM used to get pregnant with her twins. I’m not sure if I mentioned they have a set of twins through IVF. IM’s pregnancy was great. The complications arose after the delivery. As a result she is unable to carry another pregnancy. I won’t say too much because I want to protect their privacy. I at least want to let you know what made them turn to surrogacy. The embryos we will be using are from the same batch as the twins. The RE mentioned that they were all of great quality. He seems very confident that we will get pregnant. I was happy to hear that. He did say that implanting two embryos should be sufficient. When the IPs and I discussed the number of embryos to implant previously we agreed to three. IF did some research and said that because it is a frozen transfer the chances of the pregnancy taking are of a lower percentage. I did some research as well and found several articles that supported this theory. I also read that the frozen transfer is just as successful as a fresh transfer. Some doctors even suggested frozen were more successful. This is one of the reasons I was anxious to talk to the RE. I wanted his opinion on the matter. IM is happy to do only two embryos. I am going to let her discuss it with IF. I will be seeing them both soon so I will bring it up then and see what they decided.
The RE ordered an ultrasound while I was there. I was aware that I would need one at some point but I was not quite prepared to have it done that day. I was told this appointment was only a consultation and that the ultrasound appointment would probably be the following week. The plan was to have Bill take off the day of the ultrasound appointment so he could drive me. I heard it can be painful so I wanted him there as a backup in case I was too uncomfortable to drive home. Fortunately this ultrasound was not as invasive as the one they originally said they were going to do. Still, not my idea of a good time. The tech was making me laugh. She checked my uterus and then my ovaries. Everything looked good. No unwanted masses, etc, etc. She kept going back to my ovaries. She was fascinated by them. She commented on how fertile I must be. I laughed and told her I had four kids. She said, “I believe it!” LOL. She was cracking me up! At one point she was trying to count the follicles! She seriously acted like this was the highlight of her day!
Now that we have the all clear from the RE all we need to do is some blood work and then we can finally move on to the contract phase. In TX we have to get the court to approve the arrangement. The process could take 2-4wks. As soon as we get the court approval I will start on BCPs. I will be given a shot of Lupron at some point to start my cycle. Then I will start estrogen patches. Before the transfer I will start the PIO(progesterone in oil). This is a shot I will have to give myself daily. Once the pregnancy is confirmed I will hopefully get to switch to a different form of progesterone. I will need to continue that through the first 10wks of the pregnancy. After that I will be released from the REs care to my regular OB.
I will be doing the blood work on the 17th. We plan to meet with the IPs for lunch and then head to the clinic. We are able to do the tests at IF’s office so that allows us to be flexible with the time and date. I’m looking forward to getting our families together for the afternoon. They only got to meet K and M the last time. I think they are looking forward to meeting the rest of my crew. I have already told them so much about the kids. What can I say, I am a proud mama. I am hoping to get to know their little ones better as well. :-) They seem like great kids.
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
Group Evaluation
Friday was the group meeting with the psychotherapist. DH could not make it so it was just me and IPs. It's funny, I don't feel like I just met them. I feel like I have know them all along. It was very easy to talk to them and joke around. We did get to discuss some of the more important issues. I was happy to see we shared the same views. The therapist was pleased and commented on us being a great match.
One thing that was mentioned was communicating my needs. I will admit to being a stubborn person when it comes to asking for help. This is something I will definitely have to work on. Supermom I am not, even if I try to be. I have to remind myself that this is not all about me. This is their baby and I understand their desire to be there every step of the way and their wanting to take care of me, as a husband would want to take care of his pregnant wife.
Tomorrow is the appointment with the fertility specialist. I am looking forward to talking to the doctor and finding out the protocol. I know there are a couple of different ways to go about the transfer. They can do a natural cycle where they monitor my ovulation and implant the embryos 2-3 days post ovulation. They try to match the age of the embryos with the DPO(days past ovulation). Then there is the possibility that they will use drugs to suppress my ovulation. In this scenario they will have more control over the transfer date. I am a little nervous about having to give myself injections. I have also heard the medication can make you wacky. No worries, I already warned DH. Lol.
I guess I already resigned myself to option #2. I know my body well enough to know how unpredictable I can be. I've done enough research to know that our chances will be better if they can manipulate my cycle with the use of the drugs. I am no expert though so we shall wait and see what the doctor has to say tomorrow. Did I mention IM is going to meet me there? :-)
One thing that was mentioned was communicating my needs. I will admit to being a stubborn person when it comes to asking for help. This is something I will definitely have to work on. Supermom I am not, even if I try to be. I have to remind myself that this is not all about me. This is their baby and I understand their desire to be there every step of the way and their wanting to take care of me, as a husband would want to take care of his pregnant wife.
Tomorrow is the appointment with the fertility specialist. I am looking forward to talking to the doctor and finding out the protocol. I know there are a couple of different ways to go about the transfer. They can do a natural cycle where they monitor my ovulation and implant the embryos 2-3 days post ovulation. They try to match the age of the embryos with the DPO(days past ovulation). Then there is the possibility that they will use drugs to suppress my ovulation. In this scenario they will have more control over the transfer date. I am a little nervous about having to give myself injections. I have also heard the medication can make you wacky. No worries, I already warned DH. Lol.
I guess I already resigned myself to option #2. I know my body well enough to know how unpredictable I can be. I've done enough research to know that our chances will be better if they can manipulate my cycle with the use of the drugs. I am no expert though so we shall wait and see what the doctor has to say tomorrow. Did I mention IM is going to meet me there? :-)
Sunday, April 19, 2009
Pych Evaluation
I had my psych evaluation this past Tuesday. I first interviewed with the Psychotherapist. She asked me a lot of questions about my family life. Then she wanted to know what led me to surrogacy. I was doing well until I started talking about my family member that had struggled with infertility. I was a little embarrassed about tearing up in front of her. I’m sure she is used to it though. We continued to talk about my expectations during and after the surrogacy. I also had to do the 567 question evaluation test. It was the same one I did with the agency. Made me giggle the second time around too. :-) Some of the questions are really out there. Overall I felt like it went well. The feedback I have received since the appointment has been excellent. I was happy to know there were going to be no straight jackets in my future. Haha!
Next step is the group evaluation with IPs and the psychotherapist. That will be this coming Friday. I am looking forward to seeing A and S again. I’m not too worried about the appt itself. We have already discussed most of the issues we are supposed be covering at the appointment. We seem to be on the same page so I think we are good.
I officially cut ties with the agency. I did not think it was fair for me to remain in their database for other IPs to consider if I was moving on elsewhere. The director was very understanding and offered her services to the couple and I if we needed it. I thought that was sweet of her.
On a side note, I was talking to an acquaintance about my plans to be a surrogate. After the initial shock she asked me what made me want to do it and B piped up and said, “because she likes to help people.” What a great observation for him to make. Made me feel good. One of the things I was hoping to accomplish in doing this is to teach my children about helping others. This life is not all about what is in it for us. I think they are starting to see that. I really am looking forward to seeing this journey through their eyes as well.
Next step is the group evaluation with IPs and the psychotherapist. That will be this coming Friday. I am looking forward to seeing A and S again. I’m not too worried about the appt itself. We have already discussed most of the issues we are supposed be covering at the appointment. We seem to be on the same page so I think we are good.
I officially cut ties with the agency. I did not think it was fair for me to remain in their database for other IPs to consider if I was moving on elsewhere. The director was very understanding and offered her services to the couple and I if we needed it. I thought that was sweet of her.
On a side note, I was talking to an acquaintance about my plans to be a surrogate. After the initial shock she asked me what made me want to do it and B piped up and said, “because she likes to help people.” What a great observation for him to make. Made me feel good. One of the things I was hoping to accomplish in doing this is to teach my children about helping others. This life is not all about what is in it for us. I think they are starting to see that. I really am looking forward to seeing this journey through their eyes as well.
Wednesday, April 8, 2009
Bump in the road
I have mentioned my insurance dilemma previously. It is something we are still working on. The first couple of times I called the company the reps told me that they would not cover my pregnancy if I acted as a surrogate. Since I had to explain exactly what surrogacy was I did not feel confident in their answers. I called once more to see if we could dig deeper. This time, at least, the rep knew what I was referring to. She kept me on the phone for awhile looking through the policy trying to find any wording on exclusions. She was unable to find anything stating they would not cover me as a surrogate. At that point my inquiry was sent for review. I received a letter from the insurance company last week denying all coverage. They could not cite any specific wording supporting their decision so I decided to appeal. That’s where we are at right now.
I had a psych appointment set up for yesterday but C canceled it until we sorted through the insurance stuff. I was starting to worry that this was all going to fall through. I had not heard from the IPs to get their feelings about what was going on. I did not know if they were prepared for the extra cost of taking out a separate policy on me. I heard it can be expensive. Also, how long were they willing to wait for us to sort through this? I did not want to lose them. I was really starting to get stressed over the whole thing.
I received an email from C yesterday morning asking if I could call the hospital and my OB to get a “cash price” for a routine pregnancy and delivery. She is trying to find a way around using the insurance in the event we lose the appeal. She said IPs are willing to wait for the appeal decision. I feel bad for making them hold off for my sake. And if the appeal falls through, then what? About the time I was ready to pull my hair out IF calls me. He said he wanted to touch base and he reassured me that they want to see this through with me. He also said he wants to go forward with the testing. I felt so much better after talking to him! He was very optimistic about everything.
So as of right now I will see the fertility specialist on April 30th. I am waiting for C to get me some times and dates to reschedule the psych appointment. I will hopefully be doing that some time within the next week. I am happy to be moving forward again. I too have a good feeling about everything. I am hoping we can have A and S on their way to having a happy, healthy baby very soon.
I had a psych appointment set up for yesterday but C canceled it until we sorted through the insurance stuff. I was starting to worry that this was all going to fall through. I had not heard from the IPs to get their feelings about what was going on. I did not know if they were prepared for the extra cost of taking out a separate policy on me. I heard it can be expensive. Also, how long were they willing to wait for us to sort through this? I did not want to lose them. I was really starting to get stressed over the whole thing.
I received an email from C yesterday morning asking if I could call the hospital and my OB to get a “cash price” for a routine pregnancy and delivery. She is trying to find a way around using the insurance in the event we lose the appeal. She said IPs are willing to wait for the appeal decision. I feel bad for making them hold off for my sake. And if the appeal falls through, then what? About the time I was ready to pull my hair out IF calls me. He said he wanted to touch base and he reassured me that they want to see this through with me. He also said he wants to go forward with the testing. I felt so much better after talking to him! He was very optimistic about everything.
So as of right now I will see the fertility specialist on April 30th. I am waiting for C to get me some times and dates to reschedule the psych appointment. I will hopefully be doing that some time within the next week. I am happy to be moving forward again. I too have a good feeling about everything. I am hoping we can have A and S on their way to having a happy, healthy baby very soon.
Monday, March 30, 2009
Meeting the IPs
Yesterday was the big day. I was okay until we started getting closer to the restaurant and then my nerves started to get the best of me. I was thinking to myself that I didn’t know what to say to these people. Did I have all the right questions? Was I ready to answer all of their questions? What if our personalities don’t click? You get the idea.
As soon as we turned the corner to the table in the restaurant I was greeted with warm, friendly faces. I instantly felt better. I was still a tad nervous though. From the moment we sat down the conversation flowed. They are very personable and sweet. I talked to IM the majority of the dinner. I could tell she had been preparing for our meeting. She had lots of questions, understandably. They were very open to my questions as well. It wasn’t all business though. We had some laughs and shared stories about our kids. I could tell that they are great parents. Their love for their children is easy to see. Overall it seemed like we shared a lot of the same beliefs and expectations for the pregnancy. I really felt like this could be the perfect match. My questions was, did they feel the same way?
Before the meeting C asked me to call her and let her know how it went. She called me before I had a chance to call her. I love her enthusiasm for what she does. :-D She told me IF had left her a message saying the meeting was wonderful. That sounded promising! She asked me how I thought it went. I told her that I really liked them and could see myself going forward with them, but I did have one thing I needed to be clear on before we proceeded. I did not approach the subject of selective reduction in our meeting. That is a big detail to leave out and I needed to be sure we were on the same page with that. She agreed we needed to discuss that before we moved forward. She let me go so she could speak to IF and see how they felt about the meeting and the reduction issue. An hour or so later she calls me back to say that they would not want to selectively reduce(Yay!) AND they liked me and want me to be their surrogate! I was thrilled to hear this! I told C I would be honored to do this for them. I am looking forward to getting to know them better and be able to share in this journey with them.
C gave me the run down of what we need to do next. She is going to call and get me an appointment for my psych test. Then it will be on to the fertility specialist. I’m not sure what happens after that. She did say things are going to start moving quickly from here. I should have my first appointment within the week. I will do my best to post updates. Stay tuned! :-)
As soon as we turned the corner to the table in the restaurant I was greeted with warm, friendly faces. I instantly felt better. I was still a tad nervous though. From the moment we sat down the conversation flowed. They are very personable and sweet. I talked to IM the majority of the dinner. I could tell she had been preparing for our meeting. She had lots of questions, understandably. They were very open to my questions as well. It wasn’t all business though. We had some laughs and shared stories about our kids. I could tell that they are great parents. Their love for their children is easy to see. Overall it seemed like we shared a lot of the same beliefs and expectations for the pregnancy. I really felt like this could be the perfect match. My questions was, did they feel the same way?
Before the meeting C asked me to call her and let her know how it went. She called me before I had a chance to call her. I love her enthusiasm for what she does. :-D She told me IF had left her a message saying the meeting was wonderful. That sounded promising! She asked me how I thought it went. I told her that I really liked them and could see myself going forward with them, but I did have one thing I needed to be clear on before we proceeded. I did not approach the subject of selective reduction in our meeting. That is a big detail to leave out and I needed to be sure we were on the same page with that. She agreed we needed to discuss that before we moved forward. She let me go so she could speak to IF and see how they felt about the meeting and the reduction issue. An hour or so later she calls me back to say that they would not want to selectively reduce(Yay!) AND they liked me and want me to be their surrogate! I was thrilled to hear this! I told C I would be honored to do this for them. I am looking forward to getting to know them better and be able to share in this journey with them.
C gave me the run down of what we need to do next. She is going to call and get me an appointment for my psych test. Then it will be on to the fertility specialist. I’m not sure what happens after that. She did say things are going to start moving quickly from here. I should have my first appointment within the week. I will do my best to post updates. Stay tuned! :-)
Written 3/27/09
I had my meeting with the surrogacy attorney on Tuesday. Overall I think it went really well. I can be kind of shy when meeting new people but I felt instantly at ease with C. She was very nice and down to Earth. I never felt like I was being interviewed. It felt more like chit-chatting with a girlfriend. Too bad I can’t have her as my lawyer too!
Did I mention we brought our kids to the meeting? C’s daughter is adorable! I was hoping her and M would play together. They barely said two words to each other the whole time but they did both agree that the are new best friends. Lol. Kids are so funny. D, on the other hand, was a wild child. Those of you who know her would not be surprised. I normally don’t let my kids run around in restaurants but it was a kid friendly place and there was hardly anyone there. D took the opportunity to run amuck. She was climbing everything and even ran in the kitchen at one point. I was embarrassed but everyone else thought it was hilarious. It’s a wonder C and I were able to talk at all. Luckily C was understanding.
We did manage to go over some important issues. C asked me what my expectations were of the expected parents, how involved I want them to be and what type of contact would I like to have after the baby is born. We touched on the subject of selective reduction and termination. We discussed my insurance issues again. We are both still a bit unclear how to handle that. She said she is going to let the IPs know where we stand on that and see how they feel. I really want to be upfront about everything. We also talked about how my family feels about me doing this. She was happy to hear I have their full support.
C wanted to know if I was prepared to answer questions from strangers. I have thought about this a lot. People are going to see me PG and assume it is my baby. I have no problem telling people I am a surrogate, a fact that I am very proud of. I realize that some of the reactions may not be as positive as others. Everyone is entitled to their opinion. I am not easily offended and I know in my heart I am doing a good thing.
C told me a little more about the couple she wants me to meet. She seems to think we will hit it off great. I hope so! She asked if it would be okay to have IM(intended mother) call me to set up our meeting. Of course! I couldn’t wait to talk to her!
I received a call from IM yesterday while I was away at a birthday party. I was disappointed that I missed her call. I called her back and got her machine so I left her a message. It really was not that long from the time I left the message to the time she called me back but it seemed like an eternity. I had a flurry of mixed emotions, excitement and nervousness. I tend to have one of two reactions when I am nervous, I can clam up or I will become a chatter box. When IM called back she got the chatty Diana. Lol. Hopefully I didn’t scare her off. She sounded very sweet. Unfortunately I did not get to talk to her long. Her battery on her phone was dying and she was afraid it would hang up on me in the middle of our conversation. She had to call me back but we did get our meeting set up for Sunday afternoon!
Did I mention we brought our kids to the meeting? C’s daughter is adorable! I was hoping her and M would play together. They barely said two words to each other the whole time but they did both agree that the are new best friends. Lol. Kids are so funny. D, on the other hand, was a wild child. Those of you who know her would not be surprised. I normally don’t let my kids run around in restaurants but it was a kid friendly place and there was hardly anyone there. D took the opportunity to run amuck. She was climbing everything and even ran in the kitchen at one point. I was embarrassed but everyone else thought it was hilarious. It’s a wonder C and I were able to talk at all. Luckily C was understanding.
We did manage to go over some important issues. C asked me what my expectations were of the expected parents, how involved I want them to be and what type of contact would I like to have after the baby is born. We touched on the subject of selective reduction and termination. We discussed my insurance issues again. We are both still a bit unclear how to handle that. She said she is going to let the IPs know where we stand on that and see how they feel. I really want to be upfront about everything. We also talked about how my family feels about me doing this. She was happy to hear I have their full support.
C wanted to know if I was prepared to answer questions from strangers. I have thought about this a lot. People are going to see me PG and assume it is my baby. I have no problem telling people I am a surrogate, a fact that I am very proud of. I realize that some of the reactions may not be as positive as others. Everyone is entitled to their opinion. I am not easily offended and I know in my heart I am doing a good thing.
C told me a little more about the couple she wants me to meet. She seems to think we will hit it off great. I hope so! She asked if it would be okay to have IM(intended mother) call me to set up our meeting. Of course! I couldn’t wait to talk to her!
I received a call from IM yesterday while I was away at a birthday party. I was disappointed that I missed her call. I called her back and got her machine so I left her a message. It really was not that long from the time I left the message to the time she called me back but it seemed like an eternity. I had a flurry of mixed emotions, excitement and nervousness. I tend to have one of two reactions when I am nervous, I can clam up or I will become a chatter box. When IM called back she got the chatty Diana. Lol. Hopefully I didn’t scare her off. She sounded very sweet. Unfortunately I did not get to talk to her long. Her battery on her phone was dying and she was afraid it would hang up on me in the middle of our conversation. She had to call me back but we did get our meeting set up for Sunday afternoon!
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