Where this journey begins

It all started after I had the first of my four children. Having him opened up a whole new world to me. It was the world of motherhood. This was a place I had always dreamed of for as long as I could remember. I loved (and still do!) everything about being a mom. I must to have 4 kids! Lol. Here I was living my dream and I had to sit back and watch someone dear to me struggle to realize that same dream. That is when I first thought about surrogacy. I mentioned it to DH (Dear Husband)but I don’t believe he thought I was serious. I never said a word to anyone else about it, including the person whom my intentions were geared towards. Luckily she was able to conceive on her own soon after. After that the whole surrogacy issue was pushed aside, although never out of my mind. DH and I discussed it here and there over the years. He argued that he didn’t think I could handle it emotionally. I argued that I could but it never went any further than that.

In the months before trying to conceive my third child I joined an online message board. I got to chat with several women who were also trying to become pregnant. I got to know these women very well. I still “talk” to several of them. They were there to see me through my obsessive testing and finally my positive pregnancy test. They were there to listen to my complaints of morning sickness and cheer me on through all my milestones. I in turn, got to share in theirs. Not all though. There were a few dear friends whose journey was a long one. Some were eventually able to conceive on their own, others with assistance. Then were those that had to sit back and watch the rest of us have our babies while they had to experience month after month of heartache. I questioned why. I wanted to know why these dear women who I know would make amazing mothers were left childless. I wanted to fix it. They deserve to experience that same happiness I get to experience everyday. This is why I want to do this. They are why I want to do this. For them and all those who I’ve met who know that struggle all to well.

With the birth of our fourth child I felt complete. I thought I would revisit the subject of surrogacy with DH. I felt like since we were done adding to our family it was time to help someone else start their family. He was surprisingly supportive this time. He finally realized how serious I was about doing this. I did have to reassure him that I was okay with handing the baby over in the end. As I explained to him, I am going into this with a completely different mindset then that of my own pregnancies. The type of surrogacy I would be doing is called Gestational Surrogacy. In this scenario the baby would have no genetic link to me. I would be happy to go into more detail later but I will leave it at that for now. Like I told DH, I don’t see it as giving the baby up. I would be giving the baby “back” to his/her parents. The baby is theirs to begin with, I would just be baking it for them. ;-)

Of course we had to get the kids approval before we proceeded. I wanted to talk to them about my intentions and answer any questions they may have. They had many questions and I answered them as best I could. They understood that the baby would not be our baby. I did have to explain in full detail about the medical procedures involved. I was impressed by how well they handled all the information. B wanted to know if they would get to meet the baby and hold him/her before the parents took them home. I am sure that won't be a problem. M was a little confused. I did not expect her to understand. She is only three after all. She just wanted to make sure the intended parents (IPs) did not take D away from us. I had to explain that D is OUR baby and no one can take her away from us. I think she gets it now. The kids are actually very excited about the surrogacy. I think this will be a great experience for them too. What better way to teach them about giving than this?!

This will give me a great opportunity to see a pregnancy through someone else’s eyes. I will get to witness the excitement and the anticipation through the intended couple. I would love to see their faces during that first ultrasound. The whole process would be so fulfilling. And the birth…….I get teary-eyed just thinking about it.

Now this is all hypothetical at the moment. I am nowhere near that point. I have been in contact with an agency. I put in an online application and heard back from them the very next day. They wanted to know more about me so we set up an interview for Nov. 17th. That is a little over a week away! I am very excited and admittedly a tad nervous. For now I am trying to do as much research as I can. I found some great blogs to keep me occupied. They have been a great source of information as well. This has really helped me to see what I have to look forward to.

I guess I better not get ahead of myself here. One step at a time. Step one is the interview. I will update on that after the 17th.