I wish I had some big, exciting update to put on here but I don’t. I am trying to be patient. Those who know me know that is not one of my strong suits though. I sent the last of my documents to go in my file. Now there is nothing more I can do then sit here twiddling my thumbs while I wait for news of my acceptance (or rejection). I sent an email to the assistant director last night. I was trying to think of a way of asking her when I will get my answer without coming across as overly anxious or pushy. I let her know that although I am excited to start the journey I do understand that they have a lot to take into consideration when choosing a surrogate. I said I am will to take all the time that is necessary and that I was simply asking out of curiosity. Okay, so that is only half true. ;-)
I continue to stalk some of the blogs I found on surrogacy. Some are just starting out on their journey. A couple of them have already delivered their babies and are talking about life after the birth. I really appreciate the insight they have given me into the surrogacy process. Hopefully I will be able to do the same for someone else one day.
I have also been reading a couple of blogs from the intended mother’s (IM) perspective. Those are hard to read. Several times I’ve had to walk away because I was in tears. I thought I had an idea of what these women go through but I am finding I was only scratching the surface. Their stories are heartbreaking. While this reaffirms why I want to become a surrogate I decided I need to take a breather from reading these particular blogs. I hope that doesn’t make me weak. It’s not that I felt like I couldn’t continue to read them because it was too much emotionally, but more because I had to stop myself from emailing one of them to offer myself as their surrogate. I’m sure they will find a terrific woman to give them a baby someday. I pray they find someone soon. I do need to be careful about how I go about this though. There is so much more than telling someone I will carry their baby and having them agree. There are legal issues involved. I don’t think that is something I can handle on my own. That’s where the agency comes into play. They will look out for the best interest of both parties.
Back to being patient…….or NOT! ;-) I will update when I hear something. Until then keep your fingers crossed for me!
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
Monday, November 17, 2008
The Interview
Today was interview day. I was surprisingly calm going in there. It helped to have DH by my side. He has a way of putting me at ease in stressful situations simply with his presence. He was there to be interviewed as well.
When we walked into the office I was directed to a room to start filling out some forms. Once I was done with that DH and I got to meet the Agency Director who is also a Licensed Counselor. First she addressed DH and wanted to know how he felt about me becoming a surrogate. They needed to make sure I had his full support. She also wanted to know if he had any questions or concerns about the process. He had a few questions about the medications I would have to take. I forgot to tell him of his role in helping with the injections. Oops! He wasn’t too worried about it. He just wanted to know why it was necessary for me to have the injections. K(the director) was great at explaining the process to us both.
Once DH proved to be a supportive husband he was excused so K could complete her evaluation on me. She basically went over my application packet and asked me to elaborate on a few things, nothing too grueling. ;-) Overall I felt like it went well. At one point K mentioned having a couple in mind for me. I will take that as a good sign!
After the interview I had to take a drug test. I was given what looked like a double lined pregnancy test with a swab on the end. I had to scrape the inside of my mouth then hold it under my tongue for a few minutes. Interesting. It came back negative. Not that I expected otherwise. :-)
And last but not least, the 567 question psych evaluation. Do I hear small voices in my head? Everyday! Four of them to be exact. Lol. I did have to giggle at some of the questions. Hopefully I won’t need to be committed once the results come back. ;-)
I’m not sure what the next step is. I was told they would contact me. So now I wait. From what I’ve read we will be doing a lot of that. I will update when I know more.
When we walked into the office I was directed to a room to start filling out some forms. Once I was done with that DH and I got to meet the Agency Director who is also a Licensed Counselor. First she addressed DH and wanted to know how he felt about me becoming a surrogate. They needed to make sure I had his full support. She also wanted to know if he had any questions or concerns about the process. He had a few questions about the medications I would have to take. I forgot to tell him of his role in helping with the injections. Oops! He wasn’t too worried about it. He just wanted to know why it was necessary for me to have the injections. K(the director) was great at explaining the process to us both.
Once DH proved to be a supportive husband he was excused so K could complete her evaluation on me. She basically went over my application packet and asked me to elaborate on a few things, nothing too grueling. ;-) Overall I felt like it went well. At one point K mentioned having a couple in mind for me. I will take that as a good sign!
After the interview I had to take a drug test. I was given what looked like a double lined pregnancy test with a swab on the end. I had to scrape the inside of my mouth then hold it under my tongue for a few minutes. Interesting. It came back negative. Not that I expected otherwise. :-)
And last but not least, the 567 question psych evaluation. Do I hear small voices in my head? Everyday! Four of them to be exact. Lol. I did have to giggle at some of the questions. Hopefully I won’t need to be committed once the results come back. ;-)
I’m not sure what the next step is. I was told they would contact me. So now I wait. From what I’ve read we will be doing a lot of that. I will update when I know more.
Sunday, November 9, 2008
Where this journey begins
It all started after I had the first of my four children. Having him opened up a whole new world to me. It was the world of motherhood. This was a place I had always dreamed of for as long as I could remember. I loved (and still do!) everything about being a mom. I must to have 4 kids! Lol. Here I was living my dream and I had to sit back and watch someone dear to me struggle to realize that same dream. That is when I first thought about surrogacy. I mentioned it to DH (Dear Husband)but I don’t believe he thought I was serious. I never said a word to anyone else about it, including the person whom my intentions were geared towards. Luckily she was able to conceive on her own soon after. After that the whole surrogacy issue was pushed aside, although never out of my mind. DH and I discussed it here and there over the years. He argued that he didn’t think I could handle it emotionally. I argued that I could but it never went any further than that.
In the months before trying to conceive my third child I joined an online message board. I got to chat with several women who were also trying to become pregnant. I got to know these women very well. I still “talk” to several of them. They were there to see me through my obsessive testing and finally my positive pregnancy test. They were there to listen to my complaints of morning sickness and cheer me on through all my milestones. I in turn, got to share in theirs. Not all though. There were a few dear friends whose journey was a long one. Some were eventually able to conceive on their own, others with assistance. Then were those that had to sit back and watch the rest of us have our babies while they had to experience month after month of heartache. I questioned why. I wanted to know why these dear women who I know would make amazing mothers were left childless. I wanted to fix it. They deserve to experience that same happiness I get to experience everyday. This is why I want to do this. They are why I want to do this. For them and all those who I’ve met who know that struggle all to well.
With the birth of our fourth child I felt complete. I thought I would revisit the subject of surrogacy with DH. I felt like since we were done adding to our family it was time to help someone else start their family. He was surprisingly supportive this time. He finally realized how serious I was about doing this. I did have to reassure him that I was okay with handing the baby over in the end. As I explained to him, I am going into this with a completely different mindset then that of my own pregnancies. The type of surrogacy I would be doing is called Gestational Surrogacy. In this scenario the baby would have no genetic link to me. I would be happy to go into more detail later but I will leave it at that for now. Like I told DH, I don’t see it as giving the baby up. I would be giving the baby “back” to his/her parents. The baby is theirs to begin with, I would just be baking it for them. ;-)
Of course we had to get the kids approval before we proceeded. I wanted to talk to them about my intentions and answer any questions they may have. They had many questions and I answered them as best I could. They understood that the baby would not be our baby. I did have to explain in full detail about the medical procedures involved. I was impressed by how well they handled all the information. B wanted to know if they would get to meet the baby and hold him/her before the parents took them home. I am sure that won't be a problem. M was a little confused. I did not expect her to understand. She is only three after all. She just wanted to make sure the intended parents (IPs) did not take D away from us. I had to explain that D is OUR baby and no one can take her away from us. I think she gets it now. The kids are actually very excited about the surrogacy. I think this will be a great experience for them too. What better way to teach them about giving than this?!
This will give me a great opportunity to see a pregnancy through someone else’s eyes. I will get to witness the excitement and the anticipation through the intended couple. I would love to see their faces during that first ultrasound. The whole process would be so fulfilling. And the birth…….I get teary-eyed just thinking about it.
Now this is all hypothetical at the moment. I am nowhere near that point. I have been in contact with an agency. I put in an online application and heard back from them the very next day. They wanted to know more about me so we set up an interview for Nov. 17th. That is a little over a week away! I am very excited and admittedly a tad nervous. For now I am trying to do as much research as I can. I found some great blogs to keep me occupied. They have been a great source of information as well. This has really helped me to see what I have to look forward to.
I guess I better not get ahead of myself here. One step at a time. Step one is the interview. I will update on that after the 17th.
In the months before trying to conceive my third child I joined an online message board. I got to chat with several women who were also trying to become pregnant. I got to know these women very well. I still “talk” to several of them. They were there to see me through my obsessive testing and finally my positive pregnancy test. They were there to listen to my complaints of morning sickness and cheer me on through all my milestones. I in turn, got to share in theirs. Not all though. There were a few dear friends whose journey was a long one. Some were eventually able to conceive on their own, others with assistance. Then were those that had to sit back and watch the rest of us have our babies while they had to experience month after month of heartache. I questioned why. I wanted to know why these dear women who I know would make amazing mothers were left childless. I wanted to fix it. They deserve to experience that same happiness I get to experience everyday. This is why I want to do this. They are why I want to do this. For them and all those who I’ve met who know that struggle all to well.
With the birth of our fourth child I felt complete. I thought I would revisit the subject of surrogacy with DH. I felt like since we were done adding to our family it was time to help someone else start their family. He was surprisingly supportive this time. He finally realized how serious I was about doing this. I did have to reassure him that I was okay with handing the baby over in the end. As I explained to him, I am going into this with a completely different mindset then that of my own pregnancies. The type of surrogacy I would be doing is called Gestational Surrogacy. In this scenario the baby would have no genetic link to me. I would be happy to go into more detail later but I will leave it at that for now. Like I told DH, I don’t see it as giving the baby up. I would be giving the baby “back” to his/her parents. The baby is theirs to begin with, I would just be baking it for them. ;-)
Of course we had to get the kids approval before we proceeded. I wanted to talk to them about my intentions and answer any questions they may have. They had many questions and I answered them as best I could. They understood that the baby would not be our baby. I did have to explain in full detail about the medical procedures involved. I was impressed by how well they handled all the information. B wanted to know if they would get to meet the baby and hold him/her before the parents took them home. I am sure that won't be a problem. M was a little confused. I did not expect her to understand. She is only three after all. She just wanted to make sure the intended parents (IPs) did not take D away from us. I had to explain that D is OUR baby and no one can take her away from us. I think she gets it now. The kids are actually very excited about the surrogacy. I think this will be a great experience for them too. What better way to teach them about giving than this?!
This will give me a great opportunity to see a pregnancy through someone else’s eyes. I will get to witness the excitement and the anticipation through the intended couple. I would love to see their faces during that first ultrasound. The whole process would be so fulfilling. And the birth…….I get teary-eyed just thinking about it.
Now this is all hypothetical at the moment. I am nowhere near that point. I have been in contact with an agency. I put in an online application and heard back from them the very next day. They wanted to know more about me so we set up an interview for Nov. 17th. That is a little over a week away! I am very excited and admittedly a tad nervous. For now I am trying to do as much research as I can. I found some great blogs to keep me occupied. They have been a great source of information as well. This has really helped me to see what I have to look forward to.
I guess I better not get ahead of myself here. One step at a time. Step one is the interview. I will update on that after the 17th.
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