Group Evaluation

Friday was the group meeting with the psychotherapist. DH could not make it so it was just me and IPs. It's funny, I don't feel like I just met them. I feel like I have know them all along. It was very easy to talk to them and joke around. We did get to discuss some of the more important issues. I was happy to see we shared the same views. The therapist was pleased and commented on us being a great match.

One thing that was mentioned was communicating my needs. I will admit to being a stubborn person when it comes to asking for help. This is something I will definitely have to work on. Supermom I am not, even if I try to be. I have to remind myself that this is not all about me. This is their baby and I understand their desire to be there every step of the way and their wanting to take care of me, as a husband would want to take care of his pregnant wife.

Tomorrow is the appointment with the fertility specialist. I am looking forward to talking to the doctor and finding out the protocol. I know there are a couple of different ways to go about the transfer. They can do a natural cycle where they monitor my ovulation and implant the embryos 2-3 days post ovulation. They try to match the age of the embryos with the DPO(days past ovulation). Then there is the possibility that they will use drugs to suppress my ovulation. In this scenario they will have more control over the transfer date. I am a little nervous about having to give myself injections. I have also heard the medication can make you wacky. No worries, I already warned DH. Lol.

I guess I already resigned myself to option #2. I know my body well enough to know how unpredictable I can be. I've done enough research to know that our chances will be better if they can manipulate my cycle with the use of the drugs. I am no expert though so we shall wait and see what the doctor has to say tomorrow. Did I mention IM is going to meet me there? :-)

Pych Evaluation

I had my psych evaluation this past Tuesday. I first interviewed with the Psychotherapist. She asked me a lot of questions about my family life. Then she wanted to know what led me to surrogacy. I was doing well until I started talking about my family member that had struggled with infertility. I was a little embarrassed about tearing up in front of her. I’m sure she is used to it though. We continued to talk about my expectations during and after the surrogacy. I also had to do the 567 question evaluation test. It was the same one I did with the agency. Made me giggle the second time around too. :-) Some of the questions are really out there. Overall I felt like it went well. The feedback I have received since the appointment has been excellent. I was happy to know there were going to be no straight jackets in my future. Haha!

Next step is the group evaluation with IPs and the psychotherapist. That will be this coming Friday. I am looking forward to seeing A and S again. I’m not too worried about the appt itself. We have already discussed most of the issues we are supposed be covering at the appointment. We seem to be on the same page so I think we are good.

I officially cut ties with the agency. I did not think it was fair for me to remain in their database for other IPs to consider if I was moving on elsewhere. The director was very understanding and offered her services to the couple and I if we needed it. I thought that was sweet of her.

On a side note, I was talking to an acquaintance about my plans to be a surrogate. After the initial shock she asked me what made me want to do it and B piped up and said, “because she likes to help people.” What a great observation for him to make. Made me feel good. One of the things I was hoping to accomplish in doing this is to teach my children about helping others. This life is not all about what is in it for us. I think they are starting to see that. I really am looking forward to seeing this journey through their eyes as well.

Bump in the road

I have mentioned my insurance dilemma previously. It is something we are still working on. The first couple of times I called the company the reps told me that they would not cover my pregnancy if I acted as a surrogate. Since I had to explain exactly what surrogacy was I did not feel confident in their answers. I called once more to see if we could dig deeper. This time, at least, the rep knew what I was referring to. She kept me on the phone for awhile looking through the policy trying to find any wording on exclusions. She was unable to find anything stating they would not cover me as a surrogate. At that point my inquiry was sent for review. I received a letter from the insurance company last week denying all coverage. They could not cite any specific wording supporting their decision so I decided to appeal. That’s where we are at right now.

I had a psych appointment set up for yesterday but C canceled it until we sorted through the insurance stuff. I was starting to worry that this was all going to fall through. I had not heard from the IPs to get their feelings about what was going on. I did not know if they were prepared for the extra cost of taking out a separate policy on me. I heard it can be expensive. Also, how long were they willing to wait for us to sort through this? I did not want to lose them. I was really starting to get stressed over the whole thing.

I received an email from C yesterday morning asking if I could call the hospital and my OB to get a “cash price” for a routine pregnancy and delivery. She is trying to find a way around using the insurance in the event we lose the appeal. She said IPs are willing to wait for the appeal decision. I feel bad for making them hold off for my sake. And if the appeal falls through, then what? About the time I was ready to pull my hair out IF calls me. He said he wanted to touch base and he reassured me that they want to see this through with me. He also said he wants to go forward with the testing. I felt so much better after talking to him! He was very optimistic about everything.

So as of right now I will see the fertility specialist on April 30th. I am waiting for C to get me some times and dates to reschedule the psych appointment. I will hopefully be doing that some time within the next week. I am happy to be moving forward again. I too have a good feeling about everything. I am hoping we can have A and S on their way to having a happy, healthy baby very soon.